Guts

Love how the negative nay-sayers in life never have the guts to say who they are. If you're got something to say, then get some balls.

Gratitude

I always thought "Grow Rich in Gratitude" would be a great book title. Not rich in a material sense. More like the highest level of fulfillment. Gratitude is the elixir in life. About six years ago, Oprah had best selling author Sarah Ban Breathnach on her show. The author wrote a book called, "Simple Abundance" which asked readers to journal basic things they were grateful for every day. When Oprah claimed that journaling gratitude had changed her life and made it better, I took note and bought the book. A dozen journals later, I can honestly say that the simple act of writing out what I'm grateful for changed my life as well.

An attitude of gratitude is transforming. Most people wait to be happy. What are they waiting for? There will never be a better more perfect time than now. The magic of life is to be appreciative NOW. A happy grateful person is inspiring. And uplifting. Who doesn't want that or to be around that? The art of gratitude doesn't always come naturally and may require practice, but it's definitely worth seeking.

Allow

What a week. Two nights ago, I celebrated my birthday with friends. Bringing everyone together and watching them have a wonderful time was the greatest gift. The evening was topped off by a midnight dance to my favorite song, "The way you look tonight." This was the loveliest birthday I can remember.

I also had a great meeting for The Enlightened Studio. We are in the final stage of development and (fingers crossed) will be in production in the next couple of weeks. Times are good and I’m a happy woman.

Speaking of being a woman, I recently began studying a relationship curriculum called, Making Sense of Men (www.understandmen.com). The founder, Alison Armstrong, says the quintessential quality in true partnership is “Receptivity.” I started thinking about me and all my female friends. We tend to be on the independent side so it's probably no surprise that most of us have been single for quite some time. Not that we haven't dated, we've just been a bit unimpressed. No worries though. We've all shared the same mantra: we would wait it out until (or if) the “right” someone should come along, and in the interim, rather die than sell out. Well, as fate would have it, one by one, each of my lovely friends are finding love. True love. As I look back on watching them be swept off their feet, they shared the same thing in common. First they believed it was possible but no attachment to “when.” Second, and most importantly, they ALLOWED their special man to cross the formerly reserved space in their hearts with total access. Now, they love one day at a time, fully aware of the delicate splendor of clicking with their mate and grateful they never stopped believing. Love's divine.

It seems to me that matters of the heart (whether it be a relationship or the career of our dreams) is no different in how we should approach. We have to be open to the possibility that we CAN have our deepest desires. We must BE what we hope to receive and then ALLOW the Universe to deliver. Remember, the Universe only knows one word, YES. Most people know about the fundamental law of the Universe, the law of attraction. What many don't know is that there is another, equally powerful law, the law of allowing. If we don't allow IN what we've been asking (and let’s face it, probably begging for), then the Universe has no access, thus our dreams bypass us.

Ask for what you want. Then allow to be given to...

Integrity

My favorite word is YES. Ha, big surprise. My next favorite is integrity. I think it's a sexy word. Of course people who actually have integrity are the sexiest. But when I looked it up, Webster's didn't mention the sexy part. Webster's defines integrity as:

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty. 2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire. 3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.

Integrity isn't a quality to be applied when convenient or some of the time. We either have integrity or we don't. Ironically, most people are OUT of integrity when they say they have it. To truly embody integrity, our lives have to be clean in every aspect, all the time. Selling out on our dreams is being out of integrity but that's nothing compared to not following through on what we say we'll do but don't. If you have to break your word (it happens), be accountable and get straight about it. People will remember. I once read a book titled, "How you do anything is how you do everything." That may seem a bit fierce but at the end of the day (and it's YOUR day), having integrity makes life easy.

Be your word. You'll be so sexy.

What others think of you is none of your business

Great title. But, I can't take credit. It's actually a title to an excellent book I read a few years ago. "What others think of you is none of your business" taught me a vital lesson in life that, looking back, gave me the courage to do what I'm doing now. I remember the moment I "got it."

I was in a spin class where my favorite instructor was playing some of my all time favorite music. My mood was great, energy off the charts and the music was loud, just the way I like it. I felt so good I wanted to sing! Literally sing along (out loud) to the songs she was playing. But, I looked around the room and got scared. Everyone was so serious about their workout, not one smile. What would they think? No, I can't sing, they'll think I'm nuts. It's funny, you know when you're WITH someone that it seems more okay to be yourself than you would when you're alone? Like, in a movie. Ever been to a movie (sans a friend) and you want to laugh your head off at something funny but you don't, because you're alone, so you only a laugh a little? Totally cheating yourself, right? Okay, you get it.

So, there I was, in a spin class, working hard, sweat dripping, heart racing, feeling fantastic and wanting to sing but frozen because I was too afraid of what the others might think? Crazy! And, enough. I closed my eyes tight, squinched up my face and silently thought, "What others think of me is none of my business. Again. What others think of me is none of my business," and low and behold, I began to sing. Me! It felt so good! It took so much courage not to open my eyes to see who was looking at me but I didn't. I just kept singing. I can't even remember which song was playing, probably Mary J. Blige's "No More Drama," lol, but that's not the point. What matters is that I fully expressed myself and gave up on what others may or may not be thinking.

That moment changed my life. I became more confident, more comfortable, more myself. The only way we can ever Quit to Win is by being TRUE. And, the only way we can do that is by letting go of what others might think if we dare to.

Flow

"Energy flows where attention goes." We've all heard that by now, right? Yes, but are we actually applying the principle? It doesn't matter what we're thinking about, health, career, relationships - we get exactly what we think about. Don't worry, I'm not about to blog about the Law of Attraction, as the film, The Secret, has clearly been a grand enough platform for that. No, I'm more interested in contemplating what it actually means and to consider the possibility that it's true.

Recently, I was on a blind date. A rather good blind date I might add. He was smart, handsome, funny and totally "got" it. Things were going quite well until I mentioned how sad I felt that I'd lost touch with a close friend because she recently fell in love. That's when he said, "Don't worry, she'll be back. Give her six months and she'll be miserable." Wow. I was blown away. Now, I know he meant well but I can't help remembering what the poet Maya Angelou said, "People always tell you who they are, if you just pay attention." My question isn't whether or not my blind date was right or wrong to say that. My question is that I'm wondering if this is what it's come down to for so many?

Are we so deeply cynical that we actually think it's normal? Not me. I am the antithesis of cynical. I'm highly optimistic and, as it turns out, incredibly romantic. I believe anything is possible when intentions are straight. I believe in love. In fact, I believe in the soul mate kind of love. And I believe we can, be, do and have anything we dare to imagine. My life is proof, as miracles are happening everywhere. Simply because I am in the flow. I'm "allowing" and getting out of the way. The Universe is a servant to our thoughts and will deliver exactly as we say. Life is hard. Universe says, "Yes!" Life is easy. Universe says, "Yes!" It's our choice, no, our DUTY to be conscious of our thoughts, beliefs and attention. Our life depends on it.

Dark Knight

Last night was The Apprentice finale. The show was filmed at The Hollywood Bowl, which is an outside venue. A few minutes before Trump fired James and hired Stefani, it rained on all our friends and family. How fitting.

By now, anyone who watched the show knows that I quit in the boardroom. From the moment I entered the "bubble," I knew I shouldn't have been there. What most people don't know though, is that I asked, in fact, begged one of the producers to let me go home long before. After the second task, I pleaded for a meeting with Trump so I could resign. The producer told me to get some sleep and promised it would be better in the morning. He meant well but he was wrong. I did go to bed (albeit, on a cot in a tent in a freezing backyard), but I never slept. I got into my sleeping bag, covered my head and cried.

There's a phrase called, "The dark night of the soul." It's a time of radical transformation and sometimes it hurts so badly, you want to die. But, it can also be a time of amazing insight and revelation. For months following The Apprentice, I was in a "dark night of the soul." During that time, I gave up on ever having a fulfilling life. I was depressed.

Being on The Apprentice was the worst experience of my life, and the best thing I could've ever done. See, once I made it through my dark night, I found the courage to change. I took inventory of my life and decided to quit anything that no longer served me. I quit a big career, unhealthy friendships and bad habits. I was terrified. But continuing on as before was no longer an option, thereby making The Apprentice a "Dark Knight," which became the catalyst for change. Thank you.

On my desk there's a picture of a gorgeous rose with a poem by Anais Nin that says, "And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

Take out the trash

I just came out of a silent meditation retreat in Palos Verdes and my mind is renewed. I'm empty, and for me, that's freedom. See, the last time I tried this retreat (a few years ago), I found it to be a stressful experience. I couldn't get present the entire three days and by the end, I actually thought I failed. Seriously! Meditating didn't always come easy for me. In fact, I remember having thoughts that something must've been wrong with me because I couldn't seem to let go. Worse than that, was I actually believed what I thought.

Thankfully, things have changed. As of January 1st of this year, I committed to a new and deliberate way of being. My intention was to live a lifestyle of peace while achieving my dreams. I decided to quit anything and everything that no longer served my best and highest good (many details in upcoming posts as well as some exciting results due to my commitment to this intention). But looking back, the change didn’t start there. Before we can take on even the noblest intention, we have to begin in another place. We must first take inventory of our thoughts.

If you haven't seen, "Peaceful Warrior," please see pronto. The film is based on the best selling book, "Way of the Peaceful Warrior," which I've always LOVED. In fact, over the years, I have given many copies to friends. Needless to say, I was nervous to see the film because I worried the story wouldn't translate. But it did! They delivered a magical inspiring movie almost better than the book. Nick Nolte plays the role of Socrates who trains Dan Millman, a college student dreaming of being an Olympian gymnast, how to be present. This is one of life's most challenging tasks because we are either in the past or projecting the future based on our thoughts. In the film, Socrates teaches Dan many lessons but there was one thing he said that was unforgettable. He said, "Take out the trash."

The trash is our mental garbage. You know, those thoughts of fear, doubt, worry, lack and limitation. These thoughts hold us back and keep us small, and are usually not true. Emerson said, "Don't always believe what you think." When we take the time to go within (meditate) and learn to become mindful of our garbage (observe the rampage), we can then begin the process of letting it go. In order to Quit to Win, the first thing we must learn to do is, take out the trash.

Decisions

I was talking with my dear friend Jacqui about a blog I sent out a couple months ago called, Quit to Win. I wrote about how I quit my big time real estate career to follow my dreams (which somehow managed to inspire hundreds of people and the reason I know this for sure is because they wrote back to me and told me so), and she insisted I write a book. "But, on what?" I asked. "How you quit to win" she replied, and went on to say, "It'll be great, just write out seven or eight steps on 'how' you did what you did and people will be inspired by your story!" Easy enough, I decided I would.

Have you ever written a book? Wait, let me back up. Have you ever thought about a writing a book but that's about as far as you got? Yeah, not so easy. Especially if you claim yourself as the "expert" in an area you feel quite confident you could use a lot of help. And, steps? Yikes. But, I tried, I did. I thought and thought about what those "steps" were (or could be) and even though it had only been a few short days, I knew I was in big trouble because I was absolutely clueless.

Bless you sweet Jacqui, but who am I to tell people what to do, step by step, and voila! - promise they'll have a better life? If only. Each person is so unique and so different, how could one way (my way) work for everyone? Sooo, long blog longer, I decided not to write the steps but that I would indeed, write the book. Quit to Win will be a book of my own personal insight and revelation that make up who I am, what I'm doing and where I'm going. I figure the "how" will work itself out.